The Sunday Roast

Bonsoir everyone! (yeah, I'm getting ready for my French speaking exam. Which, ahem, is on Tuesday. Oh my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my...)

Brace yourselves. I'm going to do something different right now.

I know, I know... what's going on? I'm mixing it up. Big style.

So here it is guys. My new initiative! It's a little bit more personal than just a recipe, and I've taken inspiration from other blogs who do similar things to this.
I'm pretty excited about it! It just means you kinda, get to know me more and hopefully, I might get to know you more.
Plus, I'll be keeping up my 'one-post-every-week' mantra. Which, I understand has been a bit, well, rubbish recently.
Stoooopid exams. Stoooopid revision. Stoooopid everything.

And the title? Well, I think 'The Sunday Roast' is quite an apt name
Roasting the previous week and whatnot. Always with lashings of gravy. Always.

So, lets get this show on the road, shall we?

This could either prove, or spectacularly shatter any illusions that I'm a really boring person.

Let's do this.

1) Oh. HELLO. What are those two beautiful photos up deeeerrr? Well, they're my Granfy's birthday cakes! Yeah.. he's easily pleased.

"How about a Frangipane tart Granfy?"
"Coffee and walnut?"
"No thanks Jess. I just like a good ol'cupcake."
Literally. What? He's like, the easiest customer. Ever. Every family needs a Granfy.

And I KNOW, it seems like I'm stuck ridin' on the Birthday Bake Bus. It's a rut. But I'll totally get off. Soon. Spontaneously. Probably in Scotland.

Anyway, I think Granfy enjoyed the cakes. Bless.

2) Ahem. Uh. On the subject of Birthdays... uh. well. uhm. This is a little awkward but, uh...

I'VE RECENTLY TURNED 17. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
17 sounds so much older than 16 doesn't it?!
Don't worry. I totally understand that you didn't get me a card or anything.
I'm not bitter. Nope. Not me. At all.

3) Oh, my. Is that the rumbling of an engine I hear in the distance? The unmistakable rumbling of a blue 2005 Vauxhall Corsa to be precise. DATS RIGHT. I'M CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN'. YE-AH.

Oh look at us. I have been personally designated as Harry's chauffeur for the foreseeable future.

Of course, I'll have to learn to drive first... DETAILS, DETAILS.
I don't even care. I have a car. The 'L' plates are on. Let's tear up the tarmac.

4)  You know those things that just kinda.. make your tummy feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I get that a lot. Because a lot of things make me happy. But nothing really makes me happier than when someone puts the time aside to bake something special. Just for you. And this year, on my Birthday, I was lucky enough for people to do just that.

First off : Mumma Shiner. Y'know, if you saw us together you'd know instantly that we were mother and daughter. We look the same. Talk the same. Laugh at the same things. I think it freaks people out sometimes.

But, very much unlike me, Mumma very much dislikes baking. I know. Crazy. I guess the cakey gene skipped a generation.
But this year was different, AND LOOK AT WHAT SHE MADE. Teaming up with my Nana, the two of them made this beautiful thing for my Birthday! I saw it. I melted. I had 1... 2 pieces. Okay 3.
But oh sweet Mary Berry was it amazing. Looks like the cakey gene didn't skip a generation after all.

Ohmigod. Don't these look delish? It's cause they were. My wonderful friend Jamie (who makes the best Turkey burgers and wasabi sauce. Like, ever) very kindly thrust this exciting looking tin into my hands. Oh my word. I tell you. Brownie cupcakes? I was not disappointed. And nor were hungry lunch-timers. 

Okay, so. Hands up. Who loves mini things?

ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!
Literally, puppies. Sausage rolls. Frogs. Teeny weeny tiny cakes. LIKE THESE ONES.
Oh goodness. Don't they just make your heart melt?
And not only that...

They were jam-packed into a cake tin. All for me!!

Absolutely gorgeous. And truly delicious. I really envy the baking abilities of my friend Rosie.
She can just look at flour, sugar and eggs and it turns into something beautiful.

And here is the lovely lady herself! Thank you so much Rosie. You really do look dazzling in that tiara.

And last, but by absolutely no means least. These absolutely adorable butterfly cakes made by the gorgeous Jenny (the studious looking one in the red top). Not only were these superbly light, they even had a little glazing of jam underneath the butter cream! Jenny said she wanted to recreate my favourite cake (Victoria sponge) but in miniature! She knows me so, so well.

5) HOLD UP GUYS. The Great British Bake Off won a BAFTA tonight!! Mel and Sue never looked so happy. No sign of Benedict Cumberbatch though. Sad.

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Cookies and Cream Fudge Oreo Brownies. (aw, yeah.)

Oh my goodness, guys. Congratulations.

No. Seriously. If I could, I'd give you a massive bear hug right now.
You've made it through another week.
And even though you've probably suffered some bumps and bruises along the way (metaphorically of course. However, if it applies to you literally, I wanna know what happened. You obviously had a crazier week than me.) it's finally Friday evening. And you're alive.

Go and get yourself a cup of tea. You so deserve it.

The weeks seem to be whoosing past us at a pretty unnerving rate, right now, don't they?

In fact, their whooshing has been so fast, that I'm all disorientated. And I completely forget what time it is, what day it is, even what month it is.

Marty Mcfly. I know how you feel. I've got your back.

Unfortunately though, not everyone's problems can be solved with a flux capacitor.
Even if you have it on a t-shirt.
Though... I wouldn't mind a beat up DeLorean. That would be kinda cool.

And if you're at school/college right now, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say:
"okay, you lot. These next couple of months are the most important months of your lives..."

Let's face it. They say it every year. But I guess it still matters.

For those who haven't quite cottoned on yet?
It's code. It's school code. It's school code for "This shizz is serious. Get your game-face on. It's exam time."

And in amongst all the revision, staying late after school, doing homework, re-doing homework (worst. thing. ever.) it gets pretty darn difficult to find time for yourself, for your friends, for a book, for a bake.

And, well, these brownies are a kinda great excuse for making up for lost time.
For having a break in between writing an essay on Frankenstein, and doing French grammar.
Or for inviting a friend over, having a baking afternoon. Feeling great 'cause you've already finished writing about  Shakespeare's Original Performance Conditions.

And c'mon. They have oreos in them.
Surely you're just sold on that, right? Yeah. I know you.

My situation was a little different, however. I've been making this recipe for god knows how long, and I've been desperately wanting to share it!
I baked this for a meeting at school. Cake was demanded. Brownies of epic proportions were delivered.

I don't think anyone complained.

Fudge-y. Goo-ey. Oreo-y. Nom. Nom. Nom.

Please, for me. If you do anything for yourself this weekend. Let it be setting the time aside to bake these little beauties. You owe it to yourself.
(and if you want my honest opinion, I'm sure ol'Billy Shakespeare will let you off.)

 P.S. just a big wave and hello to Jenni, Elizabeth, Jenny, Agnes, Katie, Harry, Tom and all the other wonderful people munching on these at the meeting this week. Your support is amazing and I have a feeling the next school year is going to be a good'un! :) mwah. x

P.P.S. if you're not following me on twitter yet. Where have you been? Haven't you heard? I'm technological now! x

Makes 19 bite size pieces. (means I'll be having 4, then.)
Ingredients
165g butter
200g dark chocolate, (about 70% cocoa solids works best) finely chopped
3 free-range eggs
2 free-range egg yolks
2tsp vanilla extract
165g soft, light brown sugar
2tbsp plain flour
1tbsp cocoa powder
pinch salt
154g pack of oreos, broken into quarters

Method
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees
Grease and line a 20cm/8in square baking/brownie tin
Melt the butter in a pan over a medium heat
When melted, remove from the heat and add the chocolate, leave to stand until the chocolate melts, then stir together
Whisk egg yolks, eggs and vanilla together in a large bowl until it gets light and fluffy
Add the sugar in two additions, whisking between each (when adding the sugar, make sure you pour it around the side of the egg mixture, so as not to knock the air out)
Keep whisking on a high speed until the mixture becomes thicker
Then, pour the chocolate into it, again around the sides
Add the cocoa powder, flour salt and 1/3 of the biscuits
Mix together until combined (you really start the smell the chocolate at this point. Deeeee-lish)
Spoon the mixture into your lined pan
Plop the remaining pieces of biscuit on the top of the mixture and press in slightly
Bake on the middle shelf of your oven for about 25-30 mins
The middle should be still goo-ey.
Leave to cool.

Salivating yet? You should be. x

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Analogies and Cinnamon Cookie Cakes of Deliciousness

Can we start with an analogy here?

I like analogies. They're sorta, your own tiny little parable, right? Always with a cute meaning at the end.
Sometimes. Most times.

And that is why we're beginning with one.

Do you like analogies?
Oh, you do? Fab.

O.K. Let's go.

So, I kinda hate being late. You know, just anywhere.
I'm pretty conscious about getting places on time, be that a train/bus/spinning session (yeah, really.) or anything that involves me looking like a complete and utter stupid-person when I finally turn up.
Like running between platforms,
or shaking my fist at the bus driver as he smugly chugs into the distance,
or trudging in reluctantly and getting the last bike left. Which is always that damned wobbly one.

But the worst, for me, is being late at school.
I mean. Being in 6th form, it's not such a scary prospect now but...
Ugh. You get my drift.

(guys, bear with me. I am totally going somewhere with this.)

You know the feeling, when the bell has long gone, and you're huffing and puffing your way through school, knowing that somewhere, there is a very quiet class and an even quieter teacher (they're always the worst) waiting for you with a stony, you're-going-to-die-because-you're-late-to-my-lesson sort of glare on their face.
And you're still running. Kinda sweating a little with fear and a need-to-go-to-gym-more mentality. Maybe if you just slink in quietly, nobody will notice?

What a joke.

You get to the door, deep breaths.
You peep your head around the side (you may have got the wrong classroom, happens to everyone)
and walk in. The personification of humiliation. With added beetroot face.

And that, my friends, is how I'm feeling right now.

Picture it.

Me. Red. Sweating. Humiliated... (okay. don't. please.)

But, why? Well, because I haven't kept to my one post a week rule.
I am that late student.
Give me as many detentions as you wish.
I am truly sorry.

But, I have made you these.
As a make-up kinda present.

I've named them 'Cookie Cakes' because I changed the original recipe and added muscovado sugar, just to give it that wholesome, hearty-cookie sorta edge.
And the almond milk? Well... I didn't have any vanilla essence on me.
Are you cool with that?

I think you'll like them.

P.S. The original recipe is in cups. I've done some rough conversions, so they may not be completely exact. Bear that in mind, my lovelies! 

Ingredients

2 cups/256g plain flour

2 teaspoons bicarb of soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 

6oz/170g unsalted butter, softened

11/4 cups/275g muscovado sugar

1 teaspoon almond milk

1 large egg

handful (or 2.. or 3) chocolate chips (optional)
handful (or 2.. or 3) chopped almonds (optional)

Method

Preheat oven to 180 degrees and line two baking trays with greaseproof paper

In a bowl, whisk/mix together the flour, baking soda, salt cinnamon and ginger

Beat the sugar and butter in a separate bowl until light and fluffy

And egg and almond milk, beat again

Add the previously mixed together dry ingredients at once, and beat slowly until it forms a dough

Drop the dough in tablespoon size balls onto the paper
Bake for about 10 minutes, or until browning

Cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack

[adapted from Joy The Baker- she is amazing!)

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Marbled With Love.

I want to take this time to ask one simple question first.
Just to give me some peace of mind, and to reassure myself that I am not actually an alien, or a Geordie Shore cast member, or something...
Did anyone else realise that the clocks went forward today?

I didn't. And it was a shock to the system.
There I was, snuggled like a little caterpillar in my bed. No rush.
10:30am... yeah. I still got time.
'JESS. NANA AND GRANFY ARE HERE!'
What the.. ?!!?!?!?!

Turns out. I hadn't changed my clock the night before. It was actually 11:30. And my fam had arrived in all their Easter-Egg-bearing glory, and I was still in my jammies...
Daylight savings. You rascal.

Despite that one (rather embarrassing) occasion... I like to think I'm kinda good at remembering things.
Like an elephant.
They have good memories, right? Yeah. I'm an elephant.

So when it comes to birthdays, I reckon I'm pretty much on that.
Okay, so remembering your friends' birthdays is a given. Yeah?
Well no. It's not.
There are people who check their facebooks. Just in case.
I know who you are.
And in a lot of cases, birthdays just kind of... come and go. People don't really want a fuss.
But I like love making a fuss. People secretly love being fussed about. They do.
And when I say 'people', I mean my friends.
My wonderful, crazy, cake-eating, instagram-loving friends.
We make a fuss of each other, even when we say 'ooh noo, it's just another birthday. Don't do anything special! It's not worth it.' - when really, we know we're going to be absolutely BOMBARDED with cake.
Because that's what we do on a birthday.. We bake and bake and bake, until there's cake on the floor, cake in our hands, cake round our mouths, and at least 50 new photos on everyone's instagram accounts.
I love it so much!

This latest Birthday Gift Extravaganza was for my really close friend, Sunny.
Let's talk about Sunny.
She's the kind of girl who can just do everything,
she can cook, bake, take a good photo, do maths...
And thanks to her, I've now found somewhere to buy pumpkin pie filling!
(Tesco have this new American grocery section which makes me so happy)

So what do you give a girl who does all that, for her birthday?

Well, you make a heart shaped marble cake,
put it on a miniature cake plate,
and wrap it in spotty cellophane with beautiful pink ribbon.
Duh!

Making a fuss is totally worth it. Especially when you get a smile at the end. :)
Oh.. and an instagram picture on Sunny's account.
If that's not appreciation. I don't know what is.


N.B - I'm just going to give you the recipe for a whole cake. Is that okay?
Cause of course, my heart-shaped tin was really small so I made cupcakes with the rest of my mixture.
Experiment with it!
Makes 1 Batch of Chocolate Chip and Vanilla Marble Cake Mixture
Ingredients
225g soft margarine
225g caster sugar
275g self-raising flour
2tsp baking powder
4eggs
2tbsp milk
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
1 1/2 tbsp cocoa
2tbsp of hot water
50g plain chocolate chips

Method
Preheat the oven to 180 degress
Grease and line a 30x23cm cake tin
Measure the margarine, sugar, flour, baking powder, eggs, milk and vanilla essence into a large bowl and beat well until blended
Spoon half the mixture into the prepared tin, but blob the spoonfuls apart
In another bowl, blend the cocoa and hot water and add it to the remaining mixture with the chocolate chips
Spoon mixture in between the blobs of vanilla mixture to fill the gaps
Bake for about 35-40 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean
leave to cool and enjoy!!

[recipe taken from Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book, cake tin from Kitchenmonger]

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Woozy Oozy Choccy Egg Cupcakes!

OHMIGOSH, HEY!

I am shattered. Absolutely. Zonked. Out.
Want to know why?
Of course you do. That's why you're here.
I love you for that.

Basically, I've had a scary/great/bake-worthy week all in one.

Scary - Exams are on the horizon. I've been given a stupid amount of essays to do, and I've still got to re-read Frankenstein. Mary Shelley didn't think through the complexity of her book. Oh, Maz. What do you do to me?
Great - This to me seems to vastly outweigh the 'scary' stuff. Thank the great Mary Berry for that.
1) I did my good deed for the week and made a surprise cookie delivery to my boyfriend before he went away on a trip. Okay, so he was only away for three days. But I think he was happy to see me... or the cookies. Probably the latter.
2) I finally made the most of being a part of sixth form. I ventured out of school campus to have lunch. OUT OF SCHOOL. It was great. Thanks to my friend Sunny, I'll never work in my study periods again. I've officially been corrupted. And in the best way possible.
Bake-worthy - I've baked. Quite a bit actually! In one week.

It's been fabulous.

Oh gosh everyone. What is this beautiful thing??
I'll explain.
So basically... My tutor group at school (a group of cool dudes/dudettes you hang with every morning until it's time to trudge on to lessons) have a cake Tuesday... no prizes for guessing who assisted in thinking up that initiative.

And this week, it was my turn to bake. We have a rota and everything... we're an extremely organised tutor group.
I relished this challenge.
Well, not too much. I DO have essays to write in the evenings, you know.
So what did I do? I continued the Easter spirit, and hoped to instil it in a few others too.

So I made cupcakes. With a special guest.
These bab-aaaaysss.
Aw yeah.

The result? UBER, SUPER, DUPER CUTENESS.
And if you get a caramel one?
Well, lets just say that's where the 'oozy' begins.
The 'wooziness' is the pure fact that you'll be drunk on chocolate...



Man, I love Easter. And it's only just begun!

Makes 12 cupcakes
Ingredients
1 bag of Cadburys mini assorted eggs
150g unsalted butter
125g golden caster sugar
2 large eggs
130g self raising flour
20g cocoa
75ml crème fraiche
100g plain chocolate

Method
Preheat oven to 180 degrees and lay out 12 cupcake cases in a muffin tray
Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy
Add the eggs
Sieve in the flour and cocoa
Beat briefly together
Add the crème fraiche in nice dollops and melted chocolate
Mix this together until combined and spoon the mixture into the cupcake cases until just about half full
Unwrap your miniature eggs, one for each cupcake and press the egg lightly into the mixture in each case until it reaches the bottom and you can only see the top
Bake for about 30 mins - or until a skewer comes out clean

If some look a bit liquid-y still in the middle around the egg. Don't panic!
They'll be totally oozy, totally yummy caramel ones. x

[adapted from a recipe in Making Cakes and Bakes. Latest issue]

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Lazy Baking

I feel I owe you all an apology.
Okay, I owe you two.
1) On this cold freezing Sunday evening (it's the end of March and 2 degrees outside. what, even?) I am FINALLY uploading a post. I know, it's been a while... I've neglected my blogging duties somewhat. And I've totally missed it, and you!
Of course, I've been musing through endless amounts of blog posts every evening and thinking 'okay, I've really gotta bake something soon. I'm lacking tremendously in the Pretty Little Bakes department'.
So yes, I'm infinitely sorry for being so slow. I just.. have had no baking inspiration as of late. And everyone I know seems to be on a diet.
Mwaha, that'll go out of the metaphorical window soon. It's Easter next weekend.

2) Apology number two, (it's been said that I say 'sorry' too much. It's my favourite word. I even say sorry for saying sorry, if you get what I mean. Which must get very brain-shreddingly annoying. But what can I do? I'm a genuinely apologetic person.) is that this post is a lazy one.
However, it is a Sunday. Surely that is justification enough?

And after all that, my friends. This is what I've done with my day.

I have taken my favourite chocolate chip cookie recipe...

And added 'poowsh' Easter-egg chocolate - kindly donated by ma bro. (Cheers Joe.)

I thought I'd get in the spirit of Easter, which seems to be sprinting towards us at an alarming rate.
In a sophisticated way, of course.
The only UNsophisticated thing about it all was that I had these while watching National Treasure... 2.
It's a guilty pleasure guys. Guilty pleasure.

However, the problem with this now, you see, is that every time I bake these... I'm going to have to buy Lindor 'irresistibly smooth' chocolate.
Goodbye money. Hello beautiful cookies!

I promise double promise that I'll produce something more interesting soon.
Perhaps Cadbury-mini-egg- themed?
Hey, tell you what... I'd absolutely LOVE some suggestions!

Toldya it was simple.
But heyhideyho, 'tis only Sunday!
Sorry, guys. ;) x

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Zingalingin' Orange Cake.

Okay everyone, please don't diss me for being unoriginal.. I reckon I've seen a photo like this before.

Is it deja vu? OH YEAH, because I've used a similar one on this post. But actually, now that you look at them both... if you scrutinise them side by side (as I am doing right now... me = no life) they're not that similar at all... what was I worrying about?
Stop making me worry.

So basically. Here's the deal. I live in England. Therefore, there's hardly any sun.. like, nil sun. Zilch. None.
Especially in this first part of the year. I know it's been wintery and all... but just so DREARY. It really makes me sad. And I lose all my baking mojo when I'm sad.
So whenever we have good weather... I'm gonna blog about it. That's just how deprived I am!

BUT, HEY, LOOK!
The sun came out on Tuesday!!! I mean... it went straight back in again (as in, the next day Mr Sunshine was nowhere to be found and I woke up to the same old grey, misty murk that I've been used to for the last 16 years of my life) and has rained for the the rest of this week.
But it was there, I saw it! I swear!!

And, as I'm sure you'll all agree, everything just seems so much better in the sun!!

Your clothes fit better, your skin looks clearer and you can forget your coat at the door, striding out with a confident smile that says 'No need for an umbrella. No need. At all. About-bloomin'-time.'
Sometimes you just feel like you deserve to smile like that, y'know?

And so, in this crazy whirlwind of happiness, sunglasses and 'gradual tan' buying - yes. I know what you're all thinking. IT'S MARCH JESS. Well... I believe it's good to be prepared - my Nana's birthday came around. On the sunniest day!!
It must be fate.

And to match my sunny disposition, I baked Nana an equally sunny and zingalingin' - yeah, I made this up. It's kinda like crackalackin', but so much more fabulous - orange cake!

I tell you, my friends. I was feelin' freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

This is my kinda cake.
So light. So... so... ORANGE-Y.

I don't know why but I never really imagined liking an orange cake.
Please don't ask me for a reason, because I totally LOVE oranges!
I knew it could be incorporated into a cake... but... really? To tell you the truth, I was sceptical.

However, Mary Berry said it was, and I quote - 'always popular with the family'.
She's never wrong. Why is this? Because she's a Goddess. Truly.

You just bung every ingredient in...

And waheeeeeeeey we go!!!

I'm going to call this my 'sunshine' cake from now on.
Happy Birthday Nana! x

Ingredients

For the Cake

175g soft margarine

175g caster sugar

3 eggs

175g self-raising flour

1 and a half teaspoons of baking powder

grated rind and juice of 1 orange

For the Icing

2 tablespoons of apricot jam

100g icing sugar

finely shredded rind and juice of 1/2 an orange

Method

Preheat the oven 180 degrees.

Lightly grease and base line a 20cm deep round cake tin with greaseproof paper

Measure all the ingredients into a large bowl and beat well until thoroughly blended

Turn into the prepared tin and level the surface

Bake in the pre-heated oven for about 35 minutes until well risen and springy to the touch

Leave to cool

For the Icing

Measure the apricot jam into a small pan and gently warm through

Brush onto the top of the cake

Sift the icing sugar into a bowl and mix in the orange juice

Pour over the top of the cake and spread with a palette knife

Leave to set then decorate with the orange rind
(I added the little iced flowers... as a spring-time addition to my Sunshine cake!)

P.S. I'm now getting a wised up on the ol'social network front!
You can follow me on twitter : here

And, you can follow me on pinterest : here

Check it out! I'd love to hear from you all!
Much love. xx

[recipe taken from Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book]

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