The Sunday Roast

1) In less 48 hours I will have officially finished my exams. This has dragged on for too long. And the worst part? I've already started exam preparation for next year. I'm sat in class thinking 'BUT I HAVEN'T FINISHED THESE EXAMS YET.'

Friends, I am seriously thinking about joining the circus.

2) Just heard that my Granfy lost his first bid on Ebay today. Maybe this will quash any forthcoming addictions.

3) I started reading '1984' by George Orwell this week and, even though it may seem like a crazy exploration of humanity and morality, it's actually a really great read so far. Feeling pretty lit.

4) So, from reading the blog (which I'm so glad you do) you've probably, I dunno, conjured up an image of me in your head? Does that sound totally weird? Do you not do that at all?
Oh well, I'll start as I mean to go on...
What I mean to say is, if you've thought in the past, "I bet Jess is totally outdoorsy and loves camping and hill walking and rain and mud. Y'know, being a Somerset gal an'all."
Um. I hope you don't think that. I hate telling people they're wrong. It's not my thing.
But you are. I like my shower, sofa, oven and bed.
So why-in-da-hell am I going to Glastonbury this year? I need to remind myself that I'm 17. Not 70.

5) I did the Velo Vintage this Saturday and I have to say, it. was. incredible. Or spiffing, I suppose I should say (lol). Now, I'll probably do a separate post about it this week, but - uh - here's a little taster for y'all. Take a look...

Intrigued now, aren'tcha?

6) I want an ice cream maker. Now.

7) This weather has been rubbish for Pimms.

8) I've started growing mint in my garden! It's been planted for a few weeks now, so I've been on a frenzied recipe collecting spree, determined to make the best of it.

9) Who's happy that Tony Robinson was knighted this week? Actually, who wouldn't be? #cunningplan.

10) Have all your Papas enjoyed fathers day? I think mine did. Although, after a big gigantic Sunday lunch, my excuse that I couldn't move must've worked. Because he washed up.

This is why I love you, Dad.

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The Sunday Roast - And alternative titles.

1) I kinda wanna give this post a couple of names - the reasons of which will (hopefully) reveal themselves as this post continues. If not. Then read over it again.. and again... and - all right, you don't get it. Move along.
Title 1 - The Sunday Roast
Title 2 - Baked Tortilla Improv
Title 3 - Grandmother's attic

3 titles? Oooh, let's see where this post takes us, shall we?

2) Did anyone else watch Made in Chelsea last Monday? Utter blood bath, I tell you. Literals. I cannot wait for tomorrow's episode. Many more awkward silences to come, my friendz. Many more...

3) Yeah, so the second title? I was kinda stuck fo'lunch one day this week. Stuck inside revising (I know, I agree, this exam lark has gone on for long enough...) kinda gives me the munchaaaays. Looking in the fridge I saw nothin'. Bit of sad looking salad, chutney, ham and - oh, hello... huuuuuuuuuuuuuuumus. 3 big potfuls of it. I got on that.
Helloooooo baked tortilla chips!
Here's what you gotta do...

Rustle up some tortilla wraps (preferable white), rapeseed/canola oil, salt, paprika and curry powder.
Cut up the tortilla wraps into 8 triangles,

Brush with oil,

Sprinkle with spices,

Bake on 180 degrees until crispy, spicy, and delightful.

4) hey, hey, hey.. what d'you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese.

(I'm serious. Say it aloud. I'm funny, I promise.)

5) Chester sat in the veg trug. He's so diva. He's independent. He don't need no man.

6) Mum's going to harvest the carrots and radishes outta this babaaay next week! Oh gad, yum.

7) What's everyone thinking present-wise for fathers day next Sunday? Cheesecake. Always.

8) Y'know, even though I'm totally bummed because the oven's on the blink, it's a pure example in my life right now that every cloud has a silver lining. Why? Because just a short 10 minute drive away is my Nana and Granfy's house. Complete with a working oven.
There's something about N&G's house (as we more fondly call it) that I really, really love. It's a part of me, I guess. Etched into some of my happiest memories.
And yet, some of these memories are still being made here, they always will be.

It's a place with a distinctive smell : usually of cooking, Nana's perfume, and chocolate covered raisins.

It's a place where not only memories are made, but can be found too. If you look hard enough.

When I was a really little girl, I'd spend hours and hours looking through Nana's old jewellery box, trying on necklaces, bracelets and rings, much too big for my 6 year old fingers. But I loved them and the stories that Nana told me about them.
On Saturday, I decided I'd had enough of revision, and needed to bake - badly - so organised a trip to N&G's for the afternoon. When we arrived, Nana beckoned me upstairs - "I've got some things to show you".

For about the hour that followed Nana, my mum and I rooted through my great-grandfather's old suitcase and found things even Nana had forgotten about...

Why do black and white photos always look so perfect?

A very young Nana and Granfy.

... and after all that rummaging and treasure hunting, Nana and I turfed everyone out of the kitchen and made jam tarts. My favourite thing to make when I was a 10 year old baker-to-be.

Nana's never lost her baking mojo...

And unlike mine, her oven brought the goods.
Maybe my oven can stay broken for a little longer.

9) Eatin' profiteroles right now. Watchin' CSI. Peace out. Happy Sunday.

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The Sunday Roast

1) Well, whadduya know?
I had some quite negative shenanigans with regards to my beloved oven... we thought it had gone kaput.
Well, my friendies, it managed to cook roast dinner today. RESULT.

But would it bake a cake?
Of course not.
Came out as flat as a pancake. And raw.

Pssssh. Wishful thinking.

2) I got totally chic and had natural yoghurt with my muesli this morning. It was actually crazily delish.

3) Speaking of breaky, I have made an oath to myself to start eating more interesting breakfasts, thanks to this blog. Yah. I completely and utterly do not deny the fact that it is too late for new years resolutions... But better late that never, right? (it's how I justify last minute revision).

4) Has anyone watched the Great Gatsby yet? I haven't. Did they manage to convey the whole American Dream thaang? No?
Oh well. I bet Leo is fab.

5) A friend from my French class (yea, hola Verity) has told me about this new French drama being aired on Sunday. Excited isn't even the word. Mon dieu.

6) Does clearing out your room kinda make you sad? Yeah. Does me. Especially when you find little friendship bracelets at the back of your drawers.
That's right. Plural. Friendship Bracelets. Don't look so surprised! I was popular. Once upon a time.

7) Strawberries are out people! And not just any strawberries. Cheddar Strawberries, my pals. They're gorgeous. They're the real deal. They supply Wimbledon. Need I say more?
Oh yeah, and we got through 2 large punnets in two days. 'Kay, I'm done now.

8) The parents and I decided to take a walk today.. just 'cause I don't get personal often (lie) this is where I live. West country and spectacular.

9) I can't stop eating Toblerone, guys.

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For the love of bikes

Everyone.
Batten down the hatches.
Flee your cities.
Hide in your basements.
Pray to the lord.
Eat some cake.
Do anything to save yourselves.

Why?

'Cause I'm hulking out. That's why.

IT'S THE OVEN, GUYS.
MY OVEN IS BROKEN.

Yeah. It's pretty devastating news... means no cake, cupcakes, brownies, biscuits.
Nothin'.
Zilch. Zeeeroo.

Looks like I'm going to be making best friends with no-bake recipes for the foreseeable future.
But hey, I ain't complaining (much), 'cause look what fell into my vintage-lovin' hands this week!

Guys... meet Bluebell.
Okay, she didn't fall into my hands. I kinda leapt onto her..
We went round to chez-Grandparents for an afternoon in the sun, they opened up the blind and BAM.
There she was. Gleamin', beamin', beautiful.

I just had to take her out for a spin. Dad bought Bluebell about a month ago, and being the crazy bike enthusiast that he is (well, everyone's gotta have a hobby) he gave her a wash, bought her a new basket and voilà!
Bluebell was born.

And just in time for the Velo Vintage!

Yep, I'm taking part this year with Father Shiner and he's going to look a little something like this...

How embarrassing.
Give Granfy's bike back!
You rascal.

And if this all wasn't enough, Nana rubbed her working oven and baking prowess scrumptiously in my face.
Cream tea anyone?

Cheddar scones for Father, of course. Being a fiend for savoury an'all.

How terribly British. What, what?

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The Sunday Roast

Bonsoir everyone! (yeah, I'm getting ready for my French speaking exam. Which, ahem, is on Tuesday. Oh my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my...)

Brace yourselves. I'm going to do something different right now.

I know, I know... what's going on? I'm mixing it up. Big style.

So here it is guys. My new initiative! It's a little bit more personal than just a recipe, and I've taken inspiration from other blogs who do similar things to this.
I'm pretty excited about it! It just means you kinda, get to know me more and hopefully, I might get to know you more.
Plus, I'll be keeping up my 'one-post-every-week' mantra. Which, I understand has been a bit, well, rubbish recently.
Stoooopid exams. Stoooopid revision. Stoooopid everything.

And the title? Well, I think 'The Sunday Roast' is quite an apt name
Roasting the previous week and whatnot. Always with lashings of gravy. Always.

So, lets get this show on the road, shall we?

This could either prove, or spectacularly shatter any illusions that I'm a really boring person.

Let's do this.

1) Oh. HELLO. What are those two beautiful photos up deeeerrr? Well, they're my Granfy's birthday cakes! Yeah.. he's easily pleased.

"How about a Frangipane tart Granfy?"
"Coffee and walnut?"
"No thanks Jess. I just like a good ol'cupcake."
Literally. What? He's like, the easiest customer. Ever. Every family needs a Granfy.

And I KNOW, it seems like I'm stuck ridin' on the Birthday Bake Bus. It's a rut. But I'll totally get off. Soon. Spontaneously. Probably in Scotland.

Anyway, I think Granfy enjoyed the cakes. Bless.

2) Ahem. Uh. On the subject of Birthdays... uh. well. uhm. This is a little awkward but, uh...

I'VE RECENTLY TURNED 17. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
17 sounds so much older than 16 doesn't it?!
Don't worry. I totally understand that you didn't get me a card or anything.
I'm not bitter. Nope. Not me. At all.

3) Oh, my. Is that the rumbling of an engine I hear in the distance? The unmistakable rumbling of a blue 2005 Vauxhall Corsa to be precise. DATS RIGHT. I'M CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN'. YE-AH.

Oh look at us. I have been personally designated as Harry's chauffeur for the foreseeable future.

Of course, I'll have to learn to drive first... DETAILS, DETAILS.
I don't even care. I have a car. The 'L' plates are on. Let's tear up the tarmac.

4)  You know those things that just kinda.. make your tummy feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I get that a lot. Because a lot of things make me happy. But nothing really makes me happier than when someone puts the time aside to bake something special. Just for you. And this year, on my Birthday, I was lucky enough for people to do just that.

First off : Mumma Shiner. Y'know, if you saw us together you'd know instantly that we were mother and daughter. We look the same. Talk the same. Laugh at the same things. I think it freaks people out sometimes.

But, very much unlike me, Mumma very much dislikes baking. I know. Crazy. I guess the cakey gene skipped a generation.
But this year was different, AND LOOK AT WHAT SHE MADE. Teaming up with my Nana, the two of them made this beautiful thing for my Birthday! I saw it. I melted. I had 1... 2 pieces. Okay 3.
But oh sweet Mary Berry was it amazing. Looks like the cakey gene didn't skip a generation after all.

Ohmigod. Don't these look delish? It's cause they were. My wonderful friend Jamie (who makes the best Turkey burgers and wasabi sauce. Like, ever) very kindly thrust this exciting looking tin into my hands. Oh my word. I tell you. Brownie cupcakes? I was not disappointed. And nor were hungry lunch-timers. 

Okay, so. Hands up. Who loves mini things?

ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!
Literally, puppies. Sausage rolls. Frogs. Teeny weeny tiny cakes. LIKE THESE ONES.
Oh goodness. Don't they just make your heart melt?
And not only that...

They were jam-packed into a cake tin. All for me!!

Absolutely gorgeous. And truly delicious. I really envy the baking abilities of my friend Rosie.
She can just look at flour, sugar and eggs and it turns into something beautiful.

And here is the lovely lady herself! Thank you so much Rosie. You really do look dazzling in that tiara.

And last, but by absolutely no means least. These absolutely adorable butterfly cakes made by the gorgeous Jenny (the studious looking one in the red top). Not only were these superbly light, they even had a little glazing of jam underneath the butter cream! Jenny said she wanted to recreate my favourite cake (Victoria sponge) but in miniature! She knows me so, so well.

5) HOLD UP GUYS. The Great British Bake Off won a BAFTA tonight!! Mel and Sue never looked so happy. No sign of Benedict Cumberbatch though. Sad.

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Zingalingin' Orange Cake.

Okay everyone, please don't diss me for being unoriginal.. I reckon I've seen a photo like this before.

Is it deja vu? OH YEAH, because I've used a similar one on this post. But actually, now that you look at them both... if you scrutinise them side by side (as I am doing right now... me = no life) they're not that similar at all... what was I worrying about?
Stop making me worry.

So basically. Here's the deal. I live in England. Therefore, there's hardly any sun.. like, nil sun. Zilch. None.
Especially in this first part of the year. I know it's been wintery and all... but just so DREARY. It really makes me sad. And I lose all my baking mojo when I'm sad.
So whenever we have good weather... I'm gonna blog about it. That's just how deprived I am!

BUT, HEY, LOOK!
The sun came out on Tuesday!!! I mean... it went straight back in again (as in, the next day Mr Sunshine was nowhere to be found and I woke up to the same old grey, misty murk that I've been used to for the last 16 years of my life) and has rained for the the rest of this week.
But it was there, I saw it! I swear!!

And, as I'm sure you'll all agree, everything just seems so much better in the sun!!

Your clothes fit better, your skin looks clearer and you can forget your coat at the door, striding out with a confident smile that says 'No need for an umbrella. No need. At all. About-bloomin'-time.'
Sometimes you just feel like you deserve to smile like that, y'know?

And so, in this crazy whirlwind of happiness, sunglasses and 'gradual tan' buying - yes. I know what you're all thinking. IT'S MARCH JESS. Well... I believe it's good to be prepared - my Nana's birthday came around. On the sunniest day!!
It must be fate.

And to match my sunny disposition, I baked Nana an equally sunny and zingalingin' - yeah, I made this up. It's kinda like crackalackin', but so much more fabulous - orange cake!

I tell you, my friends. I was feelin' freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

This is my kinda cake.
So light. So... so... ORANGE-Y.

I don't know why but I never really imagined liking an orange cake.
Please don't ask me for a reason, because I totally LOVE oranges!
I knew it could be incorporated into a cake... but... really? To tell you the truth, I was sceptical.

However, Mary Berry said it was, and I quote - 'always popular with the family'.
She's never wrong. Why is this? Because she's a Goddess. Truly.

You just bung every ingredient in...

And waheeeeeeeey we go!!!

I'm going to call this my 'sunshine' cake from now on.
Happy Birthday Nana! x

Ingredients

For the Cake

175g soft margarine

175g caster sugar

3 eggs

175g self-raising flour

1 and a half teaspoons of baking powder

grated rind and juice of 1 orange

For the Icing

2 tablespoons of apricot jam

100g icing sugar

finely shredded rind and juice of 1/2 an orange

Method

Preheat the oven 180 degrees.

Lightly grease and base line a 20cm deep round cake tin with greaseproof paper

Measure all the ingredients into a large bowl and beat well until thoroughly blended

Turn into the prepared tin and level the surface

Bake in the pre-heated oven for about 35 minutes until well risen and springy to the touch

Leave to cool

For the Icing

Measure the apricot jam into a small pan and gently warm through

Brush onto the top of the cake

Sift the icing sugar into a bowl and mix in the orange juice

Pour over the top of the cake and spread with a palette knife

Leave to set then decorate with the orange rind
(I added the little iced flowers... as a spring-time addition to my Sunshine cake!)

P.S. I'm now getting a wised up on the ol'social network front!
You can follow me on twitter : here

And, you can follow me on pinterest : here

Check it out! I'd love to hear from you all!
Much love. xx

[recipe taken from Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book]

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The 'Meltiest' Melting Moments with White Chocolate Buttercream!

So...
I had a dilemma yesterday.
Yes. A dilemma. A big, fat one. One that could've destroyed the very fabric of the space time continuum and shroud the world in darkness forever.

Okay. I totally over-exaggerated on the last one.
BUT HEY, DATS ME. If there was a Queen of hyperboleland. That would be moi.
And I'd have a massive tiara... And all the Louboutins I could want... Ever...

AHEM.
This dilemma doesn't sound so bad now, does it?
Well it was. And it was this...
Cast your minds back to Saturday morning. What were you doing?
Something exciting, I'll bet.
Me? Not so much. I'd been suffering from a STUPID COLD. So I slept in... like, really, really in.
I practically BECAME my bed.

So, to cut a long story short. I missed my Saturday morning gym session.
I slept through my spinning class and everything.
Runny noses ruin lives.
Which left me with said 'dilemma'...

Do I make up for lost time and go for a cycle in the only good weather we've had for months?
Or do I stay in and bake away my sorrows until the boyfriend arrives?

I think we all know what I did.
But hey, you can't blame me for it.
If I didn't do what I did, I wouldn't be here doing what I do now. Comprende?
I JUST LOVE BAKING.

Looking back on it. My dilemma was a bit wubbish.
It was a win win really wasn't it?
I love it when life is like that.

So here's what I made!
Simple. Delish. Melty. Yum.

And with my brother home from his hectic life in London, it was kind of an unwritten rule that I make something that uses insane amounts of buttery goodness.

Aaaaand then Harry arrived and got his mitts on them..
"STOP!" I was yelling, "THEY'RE NOT SANDWICHED YET!"
Boys...

TAH DAH! Oh, look at Harry and Mumma in the background.
Out-of-focus and mesmerized beyond belief.

Don't they look adorable! Expertly sandwiched by Harry.
Oh gawwd... I want another one...
But I'll refrain, and save them for you - (and Joe, and Harry, and Dad, and Mum.)

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend! Without any earth-shattering dilemmas.

Ingredients
For the biscuits
250g unsalted butter, softened
60g caster sugar
225g plain flour
85g cornflour

For the White Chocolate Buttercream
60g unsalted butter
125g icing sugar, sifted
50g white chocolate

Methods
Preheat the oven to 170 degrees and line two large baking trays with baking paper.
Cream the butter and sugar together until creamy.
Sift together the flour and cornflour, then add this to the mixture and beat well.
Using floured hands, take tablespoons of the mixture (it's a kind of doughy consistency) and roll into balls.
Put them on the baking sheet and flatten slightly with a floured fork.
Baking in the oven for 15-18 minutes, or until the biscuits start to turn golden.
Leave to cool on a wire rack.
While they're cooling, make your buttercream!
Beat the butter and sugar until completely smooth.
Melt the white chocolate and add this to the mixture, tablespoon by tablespoon and beat well after each addition until your buttercream is the right consistency to be spread.
Sandwich Time!
I found the best way to do this, was to pair up your biscuits beforehand (I got Harry to do that for me - it's nice having a slave) so you're not scrabbling around to find biscuits of similar sizes while your icing is starting to dry - we hate unnecessary stress!
Scoop a generous tablespoon of your delish buttercream and plop it on one biccy, and put the other on top, moving it in a circular motion to warm the icing and flatten it.

LET'S EAT.

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