The Sunday Roast - And alternative titles.

1) I kinda wanna give this post a couple of names - the reasons of which will (hopefully) reveal themselves as this post continues. If not. Then read over it again.. and again... and - all right, you don't get it. Move along.
Title 1 - The Sunday Roast
Title 2 - Baked Tortilla Improv
Title 3 - Grandmother's attic

3 titles? Oooh, let's see where this post takes us, shall we?

2) Did anyone else watch Made in Chelsea last Monday? Utter blood bath, I tell you. Literals. I cannot wait for tomorrow's episode. Many more awkward silences to come, my friendz. Many more...

3) Yeah, so the second title? I was kinda stuck fo'lunch one day this week. Stuck inside revising (I know, I agree, this exam lark has gone on for long enough...) kinda gives me the munchaaaays. Looking in the fridge I saw nothin'. Bit of sad looking salad, chutney, ham and - oh, hello... huuuuuuuuuuuuuuumus. 3 big potfuls of it. I got on that.
Helloooooo baked tortilla chips!
Here's what you gotta do...

Rustle up some tortilla wraps (preferable white), rapeseed/canola oil, salt, paprika and curry powder.
Cut up the tortilla wraps into 8 triangles,

Brush with oil,

Sprinkle with spices,

Bake on 180 degrees until crispy, spicy, and delightful.

4) hey, hey, hey.. what d'you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese.

(I'm serious. Say it aloud. I'm funny, I promise.)

5) Chester sat in the veg trug. He's so diva. He's independent. He don't need no man.

6) Mum's going to harvest the carrots and radishes outta this babaaay next week! Oh gad, yum.

7) What's everyone thinking present-wise for fathers day next Sunday? Cheesecake. Always.

8) Y'know, even though I'm totally bummed because the oven's on the blink, it's a pure example in my life right now that every cloud has a silver lining. Why? Because just a short 10 minute drive away is my Nana and Granfy's house. Complete with a working oven.
There's something about N&G's house (as we more fondly call it) that I really, really love. It's a part of me, I guess. Etched into some of my happiest memories.
And yet, some of these memories are still being made here, they always will be.

It's a place with a distinctive smell : usually of cooking, Nana's perfume, and chocolate covered raisins.

It's a place where not only memories are made, but can be found too. If you look hard enough.

When I was a really little girl, I'd spend hours and hours looking through Nana's old jewellery box, trying on necklaces, bracelets and rings, much too big for my 6 year old fingers. But I loved them and the stories that Nana told me about them.
On Saturday, I decided I'd had enough of revision, and needed to bake - badly - so organised a trip to N&G's for the afternoon. When we arrived, Nana beckoned me upstairs - "I've got some things to show you".

For about the hour that followed Nana, my mum and I rooted through my great-grandfather's old suitcase and found things even Nana had forgotten about...

Why do black and white photos always look so perfect?

A very young Nana and Granfy.

... and after all that rummaging and treasure hunting, Nana and I turfed everyone out of the kitchen and made jam tarts. My favourite thing to make when I was a 10 year old baker-to-be.

Nana's never lost her baking mojo...

And unlike mine, her oven brought the goods.
Maybe my oven can stay broken for a little longer.

9) Eatin' profiteroles right now. Watchin' CSI. Peace out. Happy Sunday.

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Analogies and Cinnamon Cookie Cakes of Deliciousness

Can we start with an analogy here?

I like analogies. They're sorta, your own tiny little parable, right? Always with a cute meaning at the end.
Sometimes. Most times.

And that is why we're beginning with one.

Do you like analogies?
Oh, you do? Fab.

O.K. Let's go.

So, I kinda hate being late. You know, just anywhere.
I'm pretty conscious about getting places on time, be that a train/bus/spinning session (yeah, really.) or anything that involves me looking like a complete and utter stupid-person when I finally turn up.
Like running between platforms,
or shaking my fist at the bus driver as he smugly chugs into the distance,
or trudging in reluctantly and getting the last bike left. Which is always that damned wobbly one.

But the worst, for me, is being late at school.
I mean. Being in 6th form, it's not such a scary prospect now but...
Ugh. You get my drift.

(guys, bear with me. I am totally going somewhere with this.)

You know the feeling, when the bell has long gone, and you're huffing and puffing your way through school, knowing that somewhere, there is a very quiet class and an even quieter teacher (they're always the worst) waiting for you with a stony, you're-going-to-die-because-you're-late-to-my-lesson sort of glare on their face.
And you're still running. Kinda sweating a little with fear and a need-to-go-to-gym-more mentality. Maybe if you just slink in quietly, nobody will notice?

What a joke.

You get to the door, deep breaths.
You peep your head around the side (you may have got the wrong classroom, happens to everyone)
and walk in. The personification of humiliation. With added beetroot face.

And that, my friends, is how I'm feeling right now.

Picture it.

Me. Red. Sweating. Humiliated... (okay. don't. please.)

But, why? Well, because I haven't kept to my one post a week rule.
I am that late student.
Give me as many detentions as you wish.
I am truly sorry.

But, I have made you these.
As a make-up kinda present.

I've named them 'Cookie Cakes' because I changed the original recipe and added muscovado sugar, just to give it that wholesome, hearty-cookie sorta edge.
And the almond milk? Well... I didn't have any vanilla essence on me.
Are you cool with that?

I think you'll like them.

P.S. The original recipe is in cups. I've done some rough conversions, so they may not be completely exact. Bear that in mind, my lovelies! 

Ingredients

2 cups/256g plain flour

2 teaspoons bicarb of soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 

6oz/170g unsalted butter, softened

11/4 cups/275g muscovado sugar

1 teaspoon almond milk

1 large egg

handful (or 2.. or 3) chocolate chips (optional)
handful (or 2.. or 3) chopped almonds (optional)

Method

Preheat oven to 180 degrees and line two baking trays with greaseproof paper

In a bowl, whisk/mix together the flour, baking soda, salt cinnamon and ginger

Beat the sugar and butter in a separate bowl until light and fluffy

And egg and almond milk, beat again

Add the previously mixed together dry ingredients at once, and beat slowly until it forms a dough

Drop the dough in tablespoon size balls onto the paper
Bake for about 10 minutes, or until browning

Cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack

[adapted from Joy The Baker- she is amazing!)

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Marbled With Love.

I want to take this time to ask one simple question first.
Just to give me some peace of mind, and to reassure myself that I am not actually an alien, or a Geordie Shore cast member, or something...
Did anyone else realise that the clocks went forward today?

I didn't. And it was a shock to the system.
There I was, snuggled like a little caterpillar in my bed. No rush.
10:30am... yeah. I still got time.
'JESS. NANA AND GRANFY ARE HERE!'
What the.. ?!!?!?!?!

Turns out. I hadn't changed my clock the night before. It was actually 11:30. And my fam had arrived in all their Easter-Egg-bearing glory, and I was still in my jammies...
Daylight savings. You rascal.

Despite that one (rather embarrassing) occasion... I like to think I'm kinda good at remembering things.
Like an elephant.
They have good memories, right? Yeah. I'm an elephant.

So when it comes to birthdays, I reckon I'm pretty much on that.
Okay, so remembering your friends' birthdays is a given. Yeah?
Well no. It's not.
There are people who check their facebooks. Just in case.
I know who you are.
And in a lot of cases, birthdays just kind of... come and go. People don't really want a fuss.
But I like love making a fuss. People secretly love being fussed about. They do.
And when I say 'people', I mean my friends.
My wonderful, crazy, cake-eating, instagram-loving friends.
We make a fuss of each other, even when we say 'ooh noo, it's just another birthday. Don't do anything special! It's not worth it.' - when really, we know we're going to be absolutely BOMBARDED with cake.
Because that's what we do on a birthday.. We bake and bake and bake, until there's cake on the floor, cake in our hands, cake round our mouths, and at least 50 new photos on everyone's instagram accounts.
I love it so much!

This latest Birthday Gift Extravaganza was for my really close friend, Sunny.
Let's talk about Sunny.
She's the kind of girl who can just do everything,
she can cook, bake, take a good photo, do maths...
And thanks to her, I've now found somewhere to buy pumpkin pie filling!
(Tesco have this new American grocery section which makes me so happy)

So what do you give a girl who does all that, for her birthday?

Well, you make a heart shaped marble cake,
put it on a miniature cake plate,
and wrap it in spotty cellophane with beautiful pink ribbon.
Duh!

Making a fuss is totally worth it. Especially when you get a smile at the end. :)
Oh.. and an instagram picture on Sunny's account.
If that's not appreciation. I don't know what is.


N.B - I'm just going to give you the recipe for a whole cake. Is that okay?
Cause of course, my heart-shaped tin was really small so I made cupcakes with the rest of my mixture.
Experiment with it!
Makes 1 Batch of Chocolate Chip and Vanilla Marble Cake Mixture
Ingredients
225g soft margarine
225g caster sugar
275g self-raising flour
2tsp baking powder
4eggs
2tbsp milk
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
1 1/2 tbsp cocoa
2tbsp of hot water
50g plain chocolate chips

Method
Preheat the oven to 180 degress
Grease and line a 30x23cm cake tin
Measure the margarine, sugar, flour, baking powder, eggs, milk and vanilla essence into a large bowl and beat well until blended
Spoon half the mixture into the prepared tin, but blob the spoonfuls apart
In another bowl, blend the cocoa and hot water and add it to the remaining mixture with the chocolate chips
Spoon mixture in between the blobs of vanilla mixture to fill the gaps
Bake for about 35-40 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean
leave to cool and enjoy!!

[recipe taken from Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book, cake tin from Kitchenmonger]

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Woozy Oozy Choccy Egg Cupcakes!

OHMIGOSH, HEY!

I am shattered. Absolutely. Zonked. Out.
Want to know why?
Of course you do. That's why you're here.
I love you for that.

Basically, I've had a scary/great/bake-worthy week all in one.

Scary - Exams are on the horizon. I've been given a stupid amount of essays to do, and I've still got to re-read Frankenstein. Mary Shelley didn't think through the complexity of her book. Oh, Maz. What do you do to me?
Great - This to me seems to vastly outweigh the 'scary' stuff. Thank the great Mary Berry for that.
1) I did my good deed for the week and made a surprise cookie delivery to my boyfriend before he went away on a trip. Okay, so he was only away for three days. But I think he was happy to see me... or the cookies. Probably the latter.
2) I finally made the most of being a part of sixth form. I ventured out of school campus to have lunch. OUT OF SCHOOL. It was great. Thanks to my friend Sunny, I'll never work in my study periods again. I've officially been corrupted. And in the best way possible.
Bake-worthy - I've baked. Quite a bit actually! In one week.

It's been fabulous.

Oh gosh everyone. What is this beautiful thing??
I'll explain.
So basically... My tutor group at school (a group of cool dudes/dudettes you hang with every morning until it's time to trudge on to lessons) have a cake Tuesday... no prizes for guessing who assisted in thinking up that initiative.

And this week, it was my turn to bake. We have a rota and everything... we're an extremely organised tutor group.
I relished this challenge.
Well, not too much. I DO have essays to write in the evenings, you know.
So what did I do? I continued the Easter spirit, and hoped to instil it in a few others too.

So I made cupcakes. With a special guest.
These bab-aaaaysss.
Aw yeah.

The result? UBER, SUPER, DUPER CUTENESS.
And if you get a caramel one?
Well, lets just say that's where the 'oozy' begins.
The 'wooziness' is the pure fact that you'll be drunk on chocolate...



Man, I love Easter. And it's only just begun!

Makes 12 cupcakes
Ingredients
1 bag of Cadburys mini assorted eggs
150g unsalted butter
125g golden caster sugar
2 large eggs
130g self raising flour
20g cocoa
75ml crème fraiche
100g plain chocolate

Method
Preheat oven to 180 degrees and lay out 12 cupcake cases in a muffin tray
Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy
Add the eggs
Sieve in the flour and cocoa
Beat briefly together
Add the crème fraiche in nice dollops and melted chocolate
Mix this together until combined and spoon the mixture into the cupcake cases until just about half full
Unwrap your miniature eggs, one for each cupcake and press the egg lightly into the mixture in each case until it reaches the bottom and you can only see the top
Bake for about 30 mins - or until a skewer comes out clean

If some look a bit liquid-y still in the middle around the egg. Don't panic!
They'll be totally oozy, totally yummy caramel ones. x

[adapted from a recipe in Making Cakes and Bakes. Latest issue]

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Mini Chocolate Covered Doughnuts!

Okay, so as you've probably worked out so far... I am simple.

Wow. That was a rubbish start to a post.
I'm tired.

I'll start again...

AHEM.

Okay, so as you've probably worked out so far, I really like to appreciate the simple things. Or try to, at least. Like, the first sunny day of spring when you get that little bit of warmth on your back... or... oh! oh! When the leaves start to change colour in late September and there's the constant smell of bonfire in the air on a dry day... or - perhaps most importantly - when you get your monthly subscription of Cakes and Bakes in the post...
No? That just me?

Well, anyway, you get the picture. In my book, simplicity even beats honesty when it comes to the best policy. Hands down. No doubt about it.
Some may call it laziness. But I reckon that's pretty pessimistic. I like to think of it as my 'why-make-more-work-for-yourself-when-the-simple-things-make-you-just-as-happy' philosophy. Unless English Coursework Planning is involved. In which case...
Well, let's just say I'd make a whole other post for it. If I was that way inclined.

Anyway, I digress, (I'm being awfully waffle-y today, aren't I? It's in ma blooooood, I guess. I take English, remember? You were warned.    -  mmmmm... waffles.)

And as you've probably realised, dear readers, my baking is all about ease, rest, and relaxation.
Nothing fancy. Nothing frilly. No mindbogglingly fantastical piped décor or crazy ingredients that you'll use once and once only - Himalayan Pink Salt. Seriously?

For me (and hopefully for all of you too) baking is a leisure, not a chore. And after a slight disaster in the form of a way-too-gooey brownie bake yesterday - it just fell apart. Everywhere. - I decided to get back in the kitchen this evening, and ensure that I have something to take into school for my tribe of friends tomorrow.
That's another thing. Never give up on your baking abilities. Mistakes happen to everyone. Even to a wannabe Mary Berry like me!

SO, EVERYONE. May I present to you my 'Chocolate Covered Doughnuts'! One of the most simple things I have EVER made. IN MY LIFE.
You're gonna love it.

And just an N.B. for all you savvy bakeware shoppers out there who, like me, just want a tin for every cake/biscuit shape ever created in the history of time - don't fear my amigos! The dream isn't unreachable! For I have found something beautiful.
My mini doughnut tin! It's seriously my favourite piece of bakeware. Along with my baguette holder... and my battenberg tin... and that totally tiny, but totally cute heart shaped cake tin I bought at the weekend...

You can find it (and so many other lovely things) right here.

Oh my word, I'm in heaven. Would you just look at the sheen on those!?
Total Monday-night perfection.

What did I tell you? Simplicity is great.
No. It's better than great.
It's one thought, one conception and one purpose.

Mission accomplished? I think so.

Thank you all for dropping by to take a look into the ramblings of my food-filled brain!
I'm so, so grateful.
Always am, always will be. x

Makes 24 Boootiful Doughnuts
Ingredients - no crazy-bean salt. Pinky promise.
225g plain flour
1tsp vanilla extract
175g caster sugar
1tbsp butter, melted
2tsp baking powder
175ml milk (whole milk is best, none of that skimmed nonsense)
2 large eggs, beaten
1/2tsp salt
100g plain chocolate

Method
Preheat the oven to 160 degrees
Grease the tine slightly
Put all the ingredients and mix together thoroughly until well combined
Pour the mixture into your tin, about 3/4 full
Bake in the centre of your oven for about 15 minutes, or until a skewer inserted comes out clean
Leave to cool, then melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of hot water.
Dunk your doughnuts head first into the chocolate to coat the top, then leave to set

Hope you enjoy!
It's definitely the little things that count.

P.S. The link to the tin product is non-sponsored. I just love it so much. xx

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The 'Meltiest' Melting Moments with White Chocolate Buttercream!

So...
I had a dilemma yesterday.
Yes. A dilemma. A big, fat one. One that could've destroyed the very fabric of the space time continuum and shroud the world in darkness forever.

Okay. I totally over-exaggerated on the last one.
BUT HEY, DATS ME. If there was a Queen of hyperboleland. That would be moi.
And I'd have a massive tiara... And all the Louboutins I could want... Ever...

AHEM.
This dilemma doesn't sound so bad now, does it?
Well it was. And it was this...
Cast your minds back to Saturday morning. What were you doing?
Something exciting, I'll bet.
Me? Not so much. I'd been suffering from a STUPID COLD. So I slept in... like, really, really in.
I practically BECAME my bed.

So, to cut a long story short. I missed my Saturday morning gym session.
I slept through my spinning class and everything.
Runny noses ruin lives.
Which left me with said 'dilemma'...

Do I make up for lost time and go for a cycle in the only good weather we've had for months?
Or do I stay in and bake away my sorrows until the boyfriend arrives?

I think we all know what I did.
But hey, you can't blame me for it.
If I didn't do what I did, I wouldn't be here doing what I do now. Comprende?
I JUST LOVE BAKING.

Looking back on it. My dilemma was a bit wubbish.
It was a win win really wasn't it?
I love it when life is like that.

So here's what I made!
Simple. Delish. Melty. Yum.

And with my brother home from his hectic life in London, it was kind of an unwritten rule that I make something that uses insane amounts of buttery goodness.

Aaaaand then Harry arrived and got his mitts on them..
"STOP!" I was yelling, "THEY'RE NOT SANDWICHED YET!"
Boys...

TAH DAH! Oh, look at Harry and Mumma in the background.
Out-of-focus and mesmerized beyond belief.

Don't they look adorable! Expertly sandwiched by Harry.
Oh gawwd... I want another one...
But I'll refrain, and save them for you - (and Joe, and Harry, and Dad, and Mum.)

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend! Without any earth-shattering dilemmas.

Ingredients
For the biscuits
250g unsalted butter, softened
60g caster sugar
225g plain flour
85g cornflour

For the White Chocolate Buttercream
60g unsalted butter
125g icing sugar, sifted
50g white chocolate

Methods
Preheat the oven to 170 degrees and line two large baking trays with baking paper.
Cream the butter and sugar together until creamy.
Sift together the flour and cornflour, then add this to the mixture and beat well.
Using floured hands, take tablespoons of the mixture (it's a kind of doughy consistency) and roll into balls.
Put them on the baking sheet and flatten slightly with a floured fork.
Baking in the oven for 15-18 minutes, or until the biscuits start to turn golden.
Leave to cool on a wire rack.
While they're cooling, make your buttercream!
Beat the butter and sugar until completely smooth.
Melt the white chocolate and add this to the mixture, tablespoon by tablespoon and beat well after each addition until your buttercream is the right consistency to be spread.
Sandwich Time!
I found the best way to do this, was to pair up your biscuits beforehand (I got Harry to do that for me - it's nice having a slave) so you're not scrabbling around to find biscuits of similar sizes while your icing is starting to dry - we hate unnecessary stress!
Scoop a generous tablespoon of your delish buttercream and plop it on one biccy, and put the other on top, moving it in a circular motion to warm the icing and flatten it.

LET'S EAT.

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Christmas Bake : Peanut Butter Fudge Style.

Bonsoir everyone! Are you all feeling festive my lovely candy canes!? I hope you all are, seeing as it's only 2 SLEEPS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! In fact, I think I can feel the elves getting frantic. It's in the air...
And so, with not long now until the big day, it's been pretty crazy and hectic in the Shiner household, hence my silence. :)
However, baking has been one of my main priorities over the past weeks. I've been commandeering the kitchen for hours crafting gifts to hopefully make people as excited as I am about Christmas this year!
This evening I'm going to post my past activity, so stay tuned for a couple of posts winging your way!
My first post for this evening is a Peanut Butter Fudge recipe from this years Christmas ASDA Magazine. It's a small, modest recipe that's a complete piece of cake but tastes absolutely delicious!
I stumbled across it when I needed to whip up something quick and easy for a charity fair at school, and I have to say, I thought ASDA were trying to deceive me. So many of my friends have tried and failed to make the perfect fudgey pieces, but ooooooohhhh nooo, not me! This recipe is foolproof, and when placed in a pretty jam jar with ribbon, it makes the perfect tasty gift!
Go on, give it a try. Next time, I might substitute the peanut butter for Nutella... now there's an idea. ;)

Ingredients
125g butter
500g soft brown sugar
120ml milk
250g crunchy peanut butter
1/2tsp vanilla extract
300g icing sugar

Method
Grease a 20cm x 20cm shallow cake tin and line it with baking paper.
Melt the butter in a large pan.
Add the brown sugar and milk and stir over a really low heat until the sugar dissolves - do not let it boil.
Scrape down any mixture that has splashed up onto the sides an boil for 2-3 minutes - do not stir.
Remove this from the heat and stir in the peanut butter and vanilla.
Put the icing sugar in a large bowl and pour the hot mixture on top - beat until smooth.
Spoon the mixture into a tin and leave to cool.
Cut into squares, these yummy bites can be stored in the fridge for up to a week!

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The Drizzliest Lemon Loaf.

Happy Birthday Fabian!

Have no fear my lovely cinnamon swirls, Jess is here! Ah, ah, ah! Okay, so, I promise that I have a good excuse for being so silent recently. I know it's unacceptable. Look at me, wanting to start a blog, reaching someone in Spain, posting a recipe, being all 'blogworthy' and then just... mute. I apologise, I really do. However this latest instalment I'm sure will go down well with you all.
Yes. Indeed. Make way everyone. The Lemon Drizzle Cake recipe has arrived.
Original right? No, I didn't think so either.
I know it's generic, but I really do believe that no baking archive (blog/book/scroll/bible) is complete without this gorgeously simple bake. There's just something so fresh about the zing of lemon and sugar coinciding with a crumbly cake that makes my mouth water.
So what's caused Jess to share with us her lemony adventures? I hear you ask.
Well of course, being the storyteller and general chatterbox that I am... I will tell you.
Actually, it's not greatly exciting (I live in a village remember, not a lot goes on. In fact, getting caught up in a cow crossing is pretty much the highlight of any day) however, this particular cake was requested of me a while ago from a friend who managed to get me a ticket to Glastonbury Festival next year! I was so unbelievably happy that without thinking I exclaimed 'Fabian, oh my gosh! Thank you so much!!! I'll bake you anything you want. You name it, I'll bake it.'
I instantly realised that right there, he had the perfect opportunity to conjure up any crazy concoction in his head and I would be faced with the challenge of baking it... I felt weirdly nervous as he thought of what he fancied.
And then, with a smile spreading across his face he said 'Y'know what? Lemon Drizzle is my absolute favourite...'
Unfortunately, it all got forgotten about with the whirlwind of work/revision etc. until now.
Today was Fabian's 17th birthday and I decided not to back out on a promise. So he finally got his lemon drizzle. I think he enjoyed it. ;)
And so, my little sugar plums, my Lemon Drizzle Loaf! (Taken from The Primrose Bakery Book - These recipes are wonderful!)

Ingredients
155g self-raising flour, sifted
1tsp baking powder
155g golden caster sugar
20g cornflour
155g unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 large eggs
Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon

For the Drizzle
160g granulated sugar
juice of 2 lemons

Method
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees/gas mark 4. Grease 1 x 900g loaf tin and line with baking paper or a loaf tin liner
Sift the flour, baking powder, sugar and cornflour into the bowl or a food processor. Pulse the mixture for 4 seconds, or mix with a wooden spoon until evenly mixed.
Add the butter, eggs and lemon zest and juice. Process briefly until evenly blended, or beat with an electric hand whisk until evenly blended.
Pour the mixture into the loaf tin and level the top with a spatula.
Bake in the centre of the oven for 35-40 minutes until golden brown, or when a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.
Leave the loaf to cool.

The Drizzle
Stir the sugar and the lemon juice in a jug.
Prick the loaf all over with a fork, pour the drizzle over the loaf and allow it to set.

(apologies for the pictures not being so great, the artificial lighting in the common room was terrible!)

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